


Winter Owl

by rinzer



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety reader, F/M, Fluff, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Self-Insert, Socially Awkward Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29560581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinzer/pseuds/rinzer
Summary: Being socially awkward and anxious around people is never easy to deal with. Being used to being around trusting friends changed when you started high school at Fukurodani Academy. You knew no one, and because of that, you were received poorly by your classmates. But there was one who stood up for you. A wild and cool boy who became you crush for three years.[Bokuto x Reader]
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Winter Owl

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Reader insert! Translations: (y/n) = your name, (l/n) + (f/n) = last name + first name, (e/c) = eye color.
> 
> Thank you so much for checking out my first work! This is originally an old fanfic I published a few years ago on FFn. So I decided to rewrite and edit it before republishing it on here.
> 
> It’s the first fic I have ever written and been brave enough to publish online. I’m not sure if reader-inserts are popular anymore, but I wanted to archive this old work of mine on here now that I’ve finally gotten back into writing again and moved from FFn. Enjoy!

A chilling wave of frost nipped at your nose and gloveless fingers as you slowly wandered around the snow-filled park which was close by the academy that you only had half a year left to attend. The cold didn't bother you too much as you had grown used to like the way it felt on your skin and the numbing pain it gave. Because it was nothing compared to how you felt on the inside. What bothered you the most was that you just realized - during Christmas vacation - that you hadn't achieved any impressive goals over your _'highly anticipated'_ high school years.

It made you feel frustrated and very lonely when you kept getting reminded by your now former friends how exciting and good their years have been. You watched how other people in your academy felt happy and proud. How strangers you passed by every day on your way home were smiling and minding their own business. 

You felt alone and unimportant in the world. It didn’t matter how many times your parents told you how _‘proud’_ they were of you and your grades. Nothing they said mattered, because they had no idea of what was going on inside your head.

After all this time alone, you truly started to feel like a failure of a human being. You felt a crushing weight of guilt wash over you as you thought back at how pathetic you were for never being brave enough to confess your true feelings to the amazing person you liked. It was devastating to acknowledge that the two and a half years you spent on this academy, were potentially a waste of time.

You let out a silent long sigh as you looked down at the time on your phone. You were surprised to see that it had already gotten as late as it was. The nighttime scenery calmed down your nerves and cynical thoughts. You specifically stayed late after school to experience this private, serene moment in your favorite park. You let your mind drift aimlessly as you walked along the designated pathway without any thoughts of worry. But the further you walked, the sooner you realized that you were starting to see less and less random people walking around you.

You checked the time on your phone again and contemplated for a moment. It was late, but if you hurried, you were sure that you could still catch the first late-shift buss home without any problems.

That was of course not the case. 

The schedule for this bus route had very recently just changed. You took a double take, checking online for this specific route to check if the times on the board showing the times were correct. You sighed frustrated when you saw that they were correct… Just to make matters worse, the evening times had an even bigger gap than before. It now had an arrival gap of _'every 40 minutes'_. 

Although it sucked, it didn’t bother you too much since you had your beloved phone and earplugs with you. Music always made time speed by so quickly. The only thing that you still had to fight though was the harsh night-time cold. It only grew worse the longer you sat huddled in your winter clothes inside the bus shelter. But you could deal with it. You had your warmest scarf wrapped around your neck and your cold hands were tucked away in the pockets of your fur-hooded parkas.

You watched the sun set in the distance as you noticed how your body slowly adapted to the cold, giving you a sense of comfort. The instrumental music playing in your ears seemed to soothe your body, making you feel tired and close to falling asleep. You even risked closing your eyes, hoping that you wouldn't miss the buss. You gave yourself into temptation and rested. The stress you felt lingering ever so presently in your body from the last two years, seemed to seep away as your breath became calm and drowsy the longer your eyes were shut.

Suddenly, after a song and a half, you started to feel something bothersome poke your body. You lazily shrugged it off, figuring that it was only the wind biting at your skin. But when the poking became more frequent and annoying, you decided to slowly open your eyes to see what was bothering you so much. You let out a faint groan as you forced yourself to blink a couple of times to let your eyes adjust to your surroundings. 

However the last thing you ever expected to see – just inches away from your face – was another person’s face. They were gazing down at you with a curious stare as their broad body blocked most of the surrounding view of the outside.

"Ah-!" A loud voice exclaimed panicked.

You yelped and instinctively tried to back away from the person towering over you, but it failed. You were already sitting on the bench inside the bus shelter, resulting in the old wooden wall to become even harder than it already felt against your back. Thankfully the person in front of you backed quickly away, startled the moment you opened your eyes. Their unnerved expression turned bright as a smile was plastered on their face when they watched as your facial features calmed down and softened.

Only then did you notice that the person in front of you were none other than the famous _horned owl_ you admired and liked, Bokuto Koutarou.

Even though your face softened, your nerving subconsciousness and beating heart didn't. You struggled to keep your blush at bay. You let out a silent sigh of relief when you realized that your blush was conveniently hidden behind your scarf. You narrowed your eyes ever so slightly at the boy before you as you felt a prick of envy stab you. Here you were, emotionally trapped in a small space with your crush, who knew nothing about your feelings, yet acted completely fine and carefree around you.

You couldn’t help but wonder how something like this came to be.

You wondered how someone as loud, happy, encouraging, silly, caring and busy as Bokuto took notice of you. It always seemed to baffle you. In a good way of course. If it wasn't for him being in your class all these three years, you couldn't start to imagine how different your high school life would have been. It wasn't like the two of you were the best of friends, but it was more so how he had the courage enough to be brave and take the initiative to interact with an awkward mess like you.

It was tough starting at Fukurodani Academy. You had a few mutual friends from middle school who were attending the same academy as you, but you never interacted with them before, so you didn’t see the need to do it this time either. You had childhood friends, but because of various reasons they were all attending different schools. The reality of having to 'survive' alone for the first time in forever, was a scary experience you were forced to struggle through once again.

Since you knew no one in your class, you instantly cringed at the thought of ever trying to communicate with another human being. You were way too nervous to start or even engage with other people who were much more confident, excited, and in general, chattier than you. So getting comfortable in class or acquiring even a single friend early on, failed miserably.

Everyone quickly found out that you suffered from being _'socially awkward'_. It didn’t take long for you to get used to the inevitable backlash it would give you. You got quickly used to being the last one picked in everything. Gym, group activities, projects and so much more. Thankfully it didn’t escalate into bullying, since you had done literally nothing to deserve such a fate. However something similar developed instead. Whispers and signs of disgust and disapproval were often directed towards you. Almost everyone in your class teased you in one way or another.

But there was always one boy in class who no one dared to pick on or stand up to. He respected everyone equally and was met with the same equality back. The boy who showed no sign of backing down was as loud and dorky as one could be at the age of 16. 

At first impression, the boy showed no sign of being mature at all, so he quickly got declared as the class' clown. Eventually the same boy rose to become the proud captain of the school’s volleyball club which made the academy they attended be deemed as a 'powerhouse' high school among volleyball. 

For some reason, the extremely popular and successful boy who brimmed with ambition and enthusiasm decided that he suddenly wanted to get to know you better. You regarded him with narrowed eyes. You couldn’t help but feel skeptical of his intentions. Did he genuinely want to know you better or did he just want to mess with you like everyone? 

But the way his gaze locked on you reaffirmed your suspicions. His sharp golden eyes looked softly and intently into yours. His kind stare never faltered. His smile never wavered whenever he talked or listened to you. His presence centered around you made you instantly forget the harsh thoughts floating inside your head.

  
**\--- Two and a half years ago, 1st grade ---**

  
"Hey!"

Silence.

"Heeellooo~?" 

You jolted back into reality as you acknowledged the loud voice close to your ears. You jumped slightly out of your skin as a random hand waved in front of your hazy field of vision, startling you. A boy high with energy and observant eyes stared at you with a joy of curiosity. You cringed mentally by the sight of him. He was nothing like you were. He looked nothing like you did. And the worst thing of all… he for some reason thought talking to you was a good idea.

"Hi there, I'm Bokuto Koutarou!” The boy introduced himself excitedly. 

“Just Bokuto is fine." He continued with a proud, gruff voice. A voice which was an unique trait everyone quickly got used to and knew that it belonged to Bokuto without ever needing to see if it really belonged to him or not.

You stared silently at Bokuto, tilting your head ever so slightly as you still didn't understand why he was sitting in front of your desk. 

The longer you stared, the more you suddenly started to observe and admire Bokuto's distinct features. His white-gray hair with black stripes were shaped upwards like a dignified wild mess. His wide, yet sharp, yellow eyes resembled that of an owl. You couldn’t help but think that Bokuto looked like a human version of a great horned owl who was acting way too energetic for his own good.

You gulped nervously as you shyly shifted your gaze away from his face. You felt a lump form in your throat, making it hard to speak. But forced yourself to talk anyway.

"H-hi. I'm... (l/n) (f/n)... B-but you already... knew that... probably." You managed to barely mumble out. 

The instant you were done and saw the smile on the boy's face grow into a smirk, your heart sank. Your body drooped ever so slightly in your seat as you hastily started covering your face up with both of your hands. A red blush of embarrassment coated your face. You knew you had just messed up. And there was nothing you could do but wait for the inevitable pain that was coming next.

But nothing happened.

You peeked up and looked at Bokuto in between your fingers. He sat there patiently; his smile still present as he looked back at you. You let out a silent sigh and placed your hands so that they covered your lips and part of your cheeks. 

"Y-You can... um… laugh... you know..." You mumbled with a low voice.

"Hm?" He blinked, then tilted his head confused. "Why would I laugh?"

You took an extra good look at him. Was he serious? You weren't sure if he was messing around with you or just being plain dumb. 

Whatever it was, you just shook your head, motioning for him to just forget about it.

“Aaaanyway ~! It's nice to meet ya' (l/n)!" Bokuto said with a big grin as his loud voice echoed throughout the classroom.

Your classmates turned to face you, as Bokuto had accidentally caught the attention everyone. They stared at you coldly. One after one, they started to whisper and mumble to each other. Mean words slipped from their mouths as they wondered why someone like Bokuto bothered to talk to someone like you.

You felt your chest starting to hurt. Your eyes welling up and getting teary. The noise surrounding you screeched in your ears. Your mood plunged into the darkness as your trembling hands fell slowly down on your desk. You felt your eyelids become heavy as you could only manage to look down at your hands with a blank stare.

Hateful words creeped into your ears. Fear enveloped you as you had no idea how to stop the voices from bothering you. The world around you turned black and static.

You felt pathetic as you realized how incredibly fragile you were alone. You hated the fact that you had been too dependent on your childhood friends back in middle school. You hated that they took your behavior for granted and protected you from harm, without ever teaching you how to survive on your own.

The judging stares and mocking voices prickled your skin. It made your heart beat faster. You unconsciously opened your mouth and started to pant. Your eyes grew wide and shook violently as a rush of stress and anxiety grabbed a tight hold around your heart. You began to shake as you started to get slightly lightheaded. You forced your eyes shut and prayed so desperately for the voices to stop.

"Are they scaring you?"

"Huh?" You blinked as a kind voice murmured into your ear, muting the world around you.

"The people around you. Are they painful to listen to?"

You decided to muster the strength to see who the serene voice belonged to. You couldn’t help but gasp at the sight greeting you. The owner of the voice held his hands over yours as he gazed deeply into your (e/c) eyes with his own golden ones.

"Huh?! Ah-! N-No... Not rea-" You mumbled with a struggled stutter and blushed hard. You quickly pulled your hand away from his out of embarrassment. 

Your face got hotter and hotter the longer he stared at you. The voices around the two of you snickered in disgust and jealousy. It was starting to give you a headache, followed slowly by a taunting fever. You let out an exhausted sigh and closed your eyes in pain as you forced the palm of your hand up to your forehead.

Bokuto narrowed his eyes at the state of you and clenched his jaw in anger. 

“Hah……” He sighed loudly as frustration coated the edge of his voice. He scraped his hands exasperatedly along your desk and roughly got up from his seat.

"Oi!" Bokuto roared aggravated. His classmates fell quiet, startling some, as they heard his voice threaten the mood of the classroom. He turned around and stared everyone down.

"I won't let anyone bother (l/n) anymore! Those who got nothing better to do and dares making her days miserable, will have to answer to me!" Bokuto declared with a threatening voice and a deadly glare. 

Everyone gaped in surprise by his sudden serious attitude, including you.

"Got it!?" Bokuto growled, waiting for a cooed confirmation from the people around him.

A thick awkward silence filled the room. But it didn’t take long for Bokuto’s glare to get under people’s skin. Hesitant mumbled voices replied back to him in unison:

"Ah, sure.../Alright/Ok/I guess..."

Bokuto smiled satisfied when everyone had reluctantly agreed, then swiftly turned around to look back at you. He blinked surprised when he saw you smiling shyly in appreciation. His smile turned into a sheepish grin when he realized that his effort had paid off.

"Oi, Bokuto." A strange boy with black hair and stoic eyes crept slowly beside Bokuto. You assumed that it was one of his many friends.

"Hm?" Bokuto turned and stared down at the guy in front of him. It was scary how dominating his height was as a first-year student.

"Are you sure you did the right thing?” The black-haired boy asked him with a concerned expression on their face. “You know that people are going to come after you now, right?"

"I don't care." Bokuto replied.

"But--" His friend tried, but got cut off before anything more could be said.

“Don’t worry.” Bokuto shrugged his friend’s unnecessary worry away.

"I've gotten used to it since foreeever ago ~” Bokuto mused. “There's no way I'll be scared of it now." He added with a more serious tone to his voice. 

"Then why are you doing it?" He then asked.

"Because clearly no one else is brave enough to take responsibility." Bokuto answered nonchalantly.

"Geh. Really...?" His friend was in disbelief at how thickheaded Bokuto was. 

You lowered your head in guilt once you heard that. However… his next words made you instantly revert back.

"Besides... I think she's pretty interesting compared to everyone else in here."

It was at this point and onward that made you realize what kind of person Bokuto was. His friendly atmosphere enveloped you as he proposed to be your friend.

Bokuto’s initiative was extremely genuine and kind. Whenever you were alone, brooding by yourself or lost in thought – Bokuto took notice and quickly made his way over to you. Whenever you were too nervous to stand up for yourself, Bokuto covered for you. The energetic boy who knew no fear only smiled and never complained once about your mental illness. You felt blessed as his very existence felt like a dream you had never expected to become real.

After all this time however, you never managed to confess your true feelings towards him. You weren’t brave enough. But you wanted to do it. You really, really, **really** wanted to say it, to utter the three big words which burned your tongue whenever you tried saying them completely alone. 

_'I love you'_

  
**\--- Now ---**

  
"Hey, (y/n)! Fancy seein' you here. You alright?" Bokuto asked with a playful smile as his round yellow eyes shined with excitement.

"H-Hi, Bokuto. I-I'm fine. And you?" You stuttered with a low voice and nervously averted your (e/c) eyes away from his golden ones.

"Ughhh~! I'm soooo tired!" He exclaimed and started to express himself in an exaggerating way with his over-the-top body language which you had grown fond of. You found it to be an adorable trait the wild boy possessed. 

"Practice was really harsh today.” He sighed. “The coach had us do all sorts of crazy individual training, which led us to only have 30 minutes left to play a game of volleyball." He complained with furrowed brows as his hands were pointing and waving while he was talking.

"Also, my team teased me and ignored my orders as a captain! Gah! It was so annoying, and-~~~"

You nodded and smiled as you listened to him. You didn't mind listening to his troubles and random topics, as that was how most of your conversations went anyway.

"(y/n)!" Bokuto exclaimed and stared down at you with a slight pout. His loud voice startled you, causing you to flinch in surprise. You tilted your head ever so curiously at him.

"You know I'll go on forever and ever if ya' don't stop me. I just appeared so suddenly, disturbing your sleep and everything..." He murmured with an apologetic voice.

"N-No that was just...!" You tried, but stopped as you felt embarrassment envelop your throat. 

You cursed under your breath because of Bokuto’s dense sense of awareness. You had managed to completely forget about that embarrassing incident, yet here Bokuto was – mentioning it as if was a completely normal thing to stumble upon!

"Look, I know it’s not fun listening to me all the time. I know that very well." Bokuto stated and gave you a thoughtful smile. "I wanna hear what you have to say as well."

"Ah, well..." Your gaze drifted off him in thought.

You felt stuck as you couldn’t come up with something interesting to say right on the spot. To be honest, you couldn’t help but feel that whatever you mention would only bore Bokuto. It didn’t help that Bokuto was staring at you with such an impatient, curious stare either.

You sighed internally. He knew fully well that this was one of your weak points. So why did he encourage you to talk about yourself?

"I-I... don't have much to say..." You eventually mumbled.

"That's not tru-!"

"B-Besides...!” You cut him off. “I… I don't mind listening... t-to what you have to say.” Your mind wandered… You loved listening to what Bokuto had to say. Because… “I like listening to your voice." 

“Eh…?” You heard Bokuto suddenly peep confused.

You looked sharply up at him and noticed his slightly stunned face. Your eyes went wide as you suddenly realized that you had just said something extremely awkward out loud. 

"Ah! No, I-I mean--!" You averted your eyes off from him in panic and tried to find the right words while being a flustered mess.

"I got it." 

You blinked as you heard Bokuto speak and suddenly felt something settle down on top of your head. 

You looked slowly up at his face as he looked down at you reassuringly. His hand moved as he gently petted the top of your head. 

"I know what you mean. I'll just keep on talking then." He said with a grin, then removed his hand.

"Ah, by the way..." Bokuto fumbled with something that was inside his jacket's pocket with his hand. He took up his phone and showed it to you, showing you the time. 

"What are you doing here so late?” He asked you with a slightly suspicious tone to his voice. “I thought you'd be home by now. So I was really surprised to see you waiting here."

"Well..." You hesitated, as you weren't too sure what to tell him. 

You had been doing this for a while. Since November actually. And now that it was close to being February, you had just gotten used to it. You enjoyed how it distracted you from your constant stress and depression that you were dealing with.

"I didn't feel like going home early today." You lied. 

It was better this way. Because this was the first time you had ever met up with Bokuto while waiting for the buss at this exact time.

"Why?" He inquired.

"Why...?" You repeated his question in a whisper. But an explanation was never heard vocally. Your face only saddened in the darkness.

"Anyway," Bokuto seemed to thankfully understand your choice of silence. "I'm glad that you're here, regardless of your reason." He said, giving you a comforting smile.

You looked up at him a little puzzled. "Y-You are?"

"Yeah." He sighed as he stared up at the sky to reminiscence for a moment. 

"I'm so used to going home alone all the time since no one in the club ever takes this buss. Not gonna lie, it kinda sucks." He continued, then looked down at you once again. "It's nice to get a change of scenery for once, you know what I mean?"

"Y-Yeah, I get it." You answered him, relating to how repetitive and boring it must be going home seeing the exact same things everyday, to now have something else and new to distract oneself with.  
Wait a minute...

You stared silently at him for a good moment, before your thought process got the better of you and your cheeks turned red.

"Uhm... Is there something on my face…?" Bokuto asked, backing a little awkwardly away.

“Huh?” You blinked. blink and shake your head before you managed to pull yourself together.

"A-Ah, no!” You shook your head panicked. “Nothing! It was... nothing..." You mumbled embarrassed towards the end of your sentence.

"If you say so." Bokuto hummed, believing you.

Fifteen minutes or so of idle chatter passed before the bus finally arrived. 

Bokuto suggested that the two of you should sit at the back. You didn't think twice about that suggestion, as that was where you would normally sit to avoid strangers who arrived later along the bus ride. It was a long journey home. Almost thirty minutes, so you were urging to sit close to the window to watch the dark fields and the occasionally lit buildings that would pass by. But what you had forgotten was that you now had another person sit beside you; Bokuto, who looked exhausted from practice, yet looked excited to be able to ride home with you.

"(Y/n). Do you take this buss often?" Bokuto asked, making you turn your attention from the window to him.

"Yeah.” You nodded. “All the time."

"What! Really?!" Bokuto looked at you surprised. 

You couldn't help but back slightly away when he suddenly stood up, towering over your body with his superior height. He sat back down when he noticed your awkward position.

"Why have you never told me this before?"

"Because… you never asked." You answered him simply.

"Hah... I see..." He murmured, looking away.

You noticed a strange tone of voice coming from Bokuto. One which you were not used to. You were surprised to see a sad smile plastered on his face. You didn't understand why he would be sad after hearing your reply. You answered him honestly. 

So why… 

Did you maybe choose the wrong words to say? You sighed internally, as you weren't too sure what to believe with the messed-up subconsciousness harboring inside of you.

You shook your head and insisted on asking him a question to quench your curiosity, "Why do you look so... upset?"

Bokuto flinched, not expecting that you would catch his change of mood that easily. He then smiled and let out a faint sigh, knowing that it was no wonder that you found out, since he was the most energetic person that you knew.

"I'm upset because I just now got to know this. After almost three years... you actually take the same bus as me home." Bokuto murmured while looking down at his fiddling hands in front of him.

You looked down at his hands, feeling slightly guilty that you never told him. You never thought a person like Bokuto would be upset over something as small as this. 

"Sorry." Was all you managed to say.

"Ah, no! Don't apologize!" he flailed with his arms as a tiny blush tinted one of his cheeks. His wild gesture made your eyes snap up at his face. "It's ok! Don't worry! At least I know now, right!?" He added slightly awkwardly.

"I-I guess." You murmured shyly.

"Besides... it would be fun going home together more often, wouldn't it?"

You blushed by the way he could say that so easily, and with a straight face none the less. You wondered how dense this guy truly was. It felt like a mystery, because he probably thought it was fine to ask any friend such a question.

"Yeah, it would." You smiled while staring down at your hands as you answered.

He smiled back and saw by the corner of your eyes the way he silently observed your shy behavior.

As the long road ahead continued with endless chatter from Bokuto and rare answers and opinions emitting from your mouth occasionally, it all halted to an abrupt end when Bokuto fixed his gaze outside and clicked the stop button which he had to stretch out to to reach from where he was sitting.

"I'm getting off soon." He said after acknowledging the look in your eyes.

"Oh." You nodded. "Me too."

"Huh, Really!?" Bokuto exclaimed for the second time as he looked at you with a surprised look on his face.

You only smiled and nodded once again.

"Man..." He sighed and got up on his feet. You followed his lead quickly after. "You're full of surprises today." He looked back at you.

"Well... you never asked." You teased.

"That statement again." He huffed annoyed with a smile on his face.

As the bus was about to turn into the bus stop, the two of you waited patiently for the bus to stop and open its back doors. With Bokuto getting off first, you watched closely how easily he climbed down the stairs and landed firmly on the mucky and slippery snow. He then walked a little forward and waited for you. 

You took a deep breath and aimed to jump and land on the snow-covered pavement which was just barely visible under all the wet snow - the one spot you always aimed for. Since the bus was parked a little farther away from the sidewalk, it was always a struggle to get the landing just right. But after doing it so many times already, you felt confident. As if you had mastered it.

However once you hit the ground with one of your feet, and was about to land with your second, you panicked when you felt that you were struggling to get a good grip on your first step. You realized that you were starting to fall backwards into the bus that was in a hurry to drive to its next destination. You let out a small yelp, and just as you instinctively prepared yourself to fall into the mucky snow, you suddenly felt yourself being stopped in mid-air.

Your frightened eyes widen in surprise when you saw Bokuto's worried face and his hand grabbing yours with a tight grip.

"Woah! That was a close one!" He said and pulled you easily up so that you were properly standing up on your feet again. "You're as clumsy as alwa- Huh?" 

Without realizing how incredibly close you were against his chest, the captain froze up exactly the same way you were currently locked up, being unable to react or talk.

Your head was inches away from the nape of his neck. You felt how his own warm breath was tickling against the part of your skin that was still exposed to the cold winter. Even though Bokuto was cowered with winter clothes, just like you, you could still feel the warmth and comfort his reassuring aura emitted into your own body. But it was probably, most likely, just going all up in your head. Because after all, you currently looked like a flustered pile of mess in front of the only person that you have ever liked.

Bokuto pulled you roughly away from him by your shoulders, breaking your trance from your little moment together. He surprisingly had a small hint of red coloring his ears and cheeks.

"Ahh! Sorry! Sorry! I didn't know that-!"

"Ah, no. I-It's fine. Really." You mumbled while still looking flustered and waved with both of your hands in front of your face to try and hide it.

"Ehem." Bokuto cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"My house is just a few blocks away, so I'm going up here." He said, changing the topic, and pointed in the direction behind the bus stop with dimly lighted houses in the background. "What about you?"

"I'm going this way." You pointed in the opposite direction of his, leading in the same direction as where the bus originally drove off to.

"I see." He approved with a nod. "Ah! Do you want me to walk you home, or are you fine by yourself?" He suddenly asked, an eager look was present on his face.

"I-I'm fine by myself." You mumbled a little too quickly for your own liking, but it seemed like he understood what you said.

"Hmm. You're not letting me be a gentleman at such an opportunity as this either huh?" He teased.

You laughed at his words. 

It reminded you of the numerous of times he had asked to help you or lead you to different places, but you always turned him down. Which of course, always resulted into the boy getting upset or childish, swearing that he would for sure accompany you _'without any excuses!'_ , as he would say it, next time you were planning to go somewhere.

"Alright! Take care, (y/n)! See ya' tomorrow!" Bokuto said energetically and waved with all his might while grinning, as the two of you were parting ways to go home.

"See you." You smiled and waved timidly back at him, before turning around and getting ready to walk a few lonely minutes alone towards your own house.

With one hand in your pocket, the other was stared silently down at with your lonely (e/c) eyes. With it starting to get cold, you moved the hand in your pocket on to the hand you were originally staring down at. 

Huh… The gesture doesn’t feel the same as before…

You tried to intertwine your fingers together, but you felt nothing special about it. You thought back a few moments ago, imagining that the hand belonged to Bokuto instead. It didn't even take a second for you to regret your decision as your face suddenly started to feel incredibly hot.

  
**\------**

  
"...Fukuro" You mumbled, as the owl continued to stare down at you with interest and cation. It tilted its head soon after, followed by a sad smile plastered on your face. It saddened you when that white and black striped owl reminded you too much of another **owl** you knew all too well.

School had been a full-on lecture day in all kinds of subjects that you just couldn't pay attention to anymore. So instead you decided to just stare out the window and admire the snow-filled wonderland of the outside world. That was how you spotted that majestic great horned owl in the first place. How fitting, since the academy was probably called _'Fukurodani' (Owl village)_ for a reason.

As several more yawns emitted from you and your classmates' mouths, the day slowly moved the time to 15:15, the sacred time which let every student go home or leave for their club activities. You sat still on your chair with your elbow plonked down on the desk in front of you, supporting the heavy weight of your head that still stared out of the window. By the corner of your eyes, you would glance a few looks at the people passing by in the halls, talking about going home together or going to their club activities. You didn't mind the noise since you were used to blocking all of it out, but no matter how hard you tried to mute Bokuto's voice when he bawled enthusiastically about his club and volleyball in general, the effort always resulted into being a failure.

You stole a glance at the black and white haired boy who looked ready to bounce his way out of class with his two other classmates surrounding him. He was soon also joined by another with raven black hair who peeked his head inside the classroom, urging Bokuto to hurry up. The other boy seemed to be persistent, which only amused you the more annoyed and childish Bokuto reacted.

"The coach won't be happy if you come late again, Bokuto-san." The raven-headed boy said to the energetic ace who was still by his desk.

"Fine, fine. Stop being so persistent, Akaashi." Bokuto grumbled and glanced at him slightly annoyed as he answered. So he was Akaashi. The one Bokuto mentions a lot to you by name when it came to him talking about volleyball.

Before realizing that you were seemingly staring at Akaashi, the boy suddenly turned his stern gaze at you. You flinched by the way he looked at you. It was nothing like Bokuto's happy and curious stare, it was more like he observed you intensely and looked almost bored and sick of you.

Uncertain of what to do, the only thing which seemed reasonable and not awkward was to give him a small wave with your free hand, which in turn, earned you an approved nod from him. Bokuto tilted his head in confusion when he noticed Akaashi's gaze somewhere else, so it was only natural that Bokuto's curiosity followed his friend’s gaze. Bokuto looked like he was overjoyed when he saw that you were still sitting by your desk, just a few desks away from his own.

"(y/n)! You're still here!" Bokuto said as he made his way quickly towards you and put both of his hands on your desk. 

He looked back at his teammates who were patiently waiting for him to get ready. They had confused looks on their faces, probably wondering what Bokuto wanted with you this time.

"Come and watch me practice today." Bokuto whispered while being carefully leaned down in front of you.

You blinked and slowly backed away since his face was way too close for your own comfort. 

"Why?" You asked him, but the moment you did, you knew that it was the wrong thing to say by the look of his face.

"You're not supposed to say that, (y/n)!" Bokuto pouted.

"I'm calling this chapter 'Bokuto gets rejected by the one and only (y/n)-chan'." A third year with brown, ruffled hair peeked up from Bokuto's left side.

"Oya, so this is (y/n)-san. You should stop bothering her with such things, Bokuto-san." Akaashi muttered as he stared down at Bokuto, emerging from his right side.

‘Huh?’ You looked up at the three boys who were now in front of you, which successfully made you feel extremely uncomfortable and anxious. Especially by the fact that they also knew your name without you ever telling them.

Bokuto let out a disdained grunt and ignored the guys beside him to focus back on you.

"C'mon, it's Friday and practice ends earlier than usual. Just like last time." Bokuto added, trying to convince you to watch him so that the two of you could go home together. Just like what happened last week when you accidentally met Bokuto by the bus stop. It seemed like he really wanted to continue this trend, which you didn’t really mind but...

You studied Bokuto's hinting eyes, but then you looked at the two beside Bokuto and two more who were standing by Bokuto's desk, creepily staring at the commotion that was going down in your general direction. 

"I-I… don't know..." You said with a nervous voice and looked down at your hands that were lying on your desk.

"I'll catch up with you guys in a few," said Bokuto and looked back at the guys beside him, giving them a smile. "So go on ahead of me." He bobbed his head in the direction of the door, hinting for them to leave.

"Hmm... if you say so..." The brown-haired hummed as he had a sly expression on his face.

Bokuto waited patiently for his teammates to leave before turning back around to face you.

"You're nervous." 

That was of course the first thing he would say to you. As expected of his sharp eyes.

You let out a small defeated sigh. There was no use in trying to fool him, considering how observant he was around you.

"I'm not." 

Still you denied it. 

Even though he had countless of times told you the same thing over and over again, you couldn't help but selfishly say 'I'm not' just to hear him comfort you. Even if Bokuto knew what you were doing, it seemed like he didn't mind going through the extra effort, since he had never said anything by the lines of: _'But I told you this before…!'_. 

He wasn't that kind of person, and you liked that about him.

"I don't blame you for being nervous in front of a group of guys you don't even know. Although… they know you... somehow." Bokuto said as he hesitantly looked away, speaking softly towards the end.

You looked at him with a shy smile and was about to ask him, but it seemed like he noticed and quickly began to speak up again. "(y/n), Stand up!"

"Huh?" You looked up at him startled when you didn't even get a chance to stand up on your own. 

He grabbed a firm hold on your arms and raised you up. You wanted to escape his grasp, especially by the sudden way he was acting, but his grip was strong. Before you knew what was happening you felt yourself getting spun around and pushed toward the classroom’s door.

"Bokuto, wha-" You tried asking him, but he was currently busy gathering both of yours’ stuff in his arms.

"We'll be late if we don't hurry." He smirked as he exited the classroom after he made sure that he had picked everything up before pacing quickly to, what you assumed would be, the gymnasium.

"W-wait, Bokuto, I-I haven't even-" You wanted to retort, but the fact that Bokuto was ignoring your futile efforts made you realize that he wouldn't take no for an answer. 

No matter how hard you tried. 

You let out a sigh and jogged up to Bokuto who was a little ways before you in the hallway. He didn't say anything. He only smiled silently to himself. Pleased that you were coming along.

You looked at Bokuto curiously before asking him a question you wanted to ask him before.

"Um… How… How…” You hesitated a little bit when Bokuto looked at you with a raised eyebrow when he heard your voice.

“…How do those guys from before know about me?" You asked him, but the moment you did, you saw him flinch. He was probably not expecting you to bring up that topic again.

Bokuto looked stiffly away. "Hrmm... You know, it's kinda funny that you ask about that. Ah-ha-ha… …" He mumbled and laughed nervously. 

You saw how he blushed ever so slightly after avoiding your question. Obviously hiding something from you. 

But just as you thought he was about to tell you, the two of you had already arrived in front of two familiar looking gym doors. You had never once thought that these doors could give you such an intimidating feeling. You felt a chill run down your spine as unexpected nerves crept up on you.

"Go in there and wait for me." Bokuto said as he balanced his stuff over his shoulder and opened one of the heavy doors.

You looked up at him a little startled. He suddenly had his arm over you as he urged you to enter the gymnasium with a bob of his head and a reassuring smile which looked down at you.

"But..." You halted. Feeling insecure and subconscious.

"Hm?" He tilted his head.

"Ohh! (y/n)-chan!"

“Huh?” You turned your head to someone's loud voice and saw a mix of excited and surprised looks on the volleyball boys standing there staring at you.

This was way more embarrassing than you could had ever imagined. The fact that Bokuto managed to practically force you into agreeing to the idea of watching him play was very unusual of him since he often didn't have time to talk to you whenever he hurried to practice. And now this… Just how were you supposed to deal with a bunch of people who knew who you were, but had no idea who they were?!

"I'll be there in a bit." Bokuto said and released his hold on the door when he made sure you had taken a hold of it yourself, and quickly walked into the boys' locker rooms.

"Ok." You mumbled. "Ah-! but what about my... stuff..." But you realized it was too late since the door behind Bokuto had long shut close. 

Now there was no option for you other than to patiently wait out Bokuto's practice.

"What are you doing, still standing by the door and staring at the locker rooms?"

You let out a surprised yelp and spun around to face the owner of the voice that had startled you. 

It was Akaashi.

You hadn't even noticed him walk up to you since you had been too busy being in your own world, cursing Bokuto for being so spontaneous about bringing you here and literally stealing your stuff so you couldn't leave without his permission. Akaashi’s gaze was stern and never left yours. It almost looked like he was bored with you and your behavior already, but you remembered Bokuto’s words. He had always reminded you that Akaashi was actually a nice guy, just never felt the need to express himself by putting up different kind of facial expressions.

"A-Ah, I... Bokuto… he..." You tried to explain, only to end up stuttering yourself quiet.

"He's changing and told you to wait for him, didn't he?" Akaashi said, almost reading your mind.

You nodded.

"Well, lucky for him... the coach isn't present today, so he'll be able to slack off a little more than usual today. Although… I'm not sure how he's going to be with you around." Akaashi commented and put a pondering hand up to his chin. 

Why would Bokuto act differently if you were around? You didn't quite understand what Akaashi really meant, but you couldn't help but wonder too.

"Anyway," Akaashi glanced towards his team who were taking a small break, probably waiting for Bokuto to be able to play properly, before looking back at you again. 

"You can probably sit by the benches where our managers are usually sitting. I doubt they'll mind." He added and pointed towards the bench where two managers sat waving kindly at you with a smile on both of their faces.

"O-Ok, I'll do that." You nodded and dismissed yourself after thanking Akaashi, then walked towards the bench.

"Oya, (y/n)-chan! What brings you here?" One of the managers with reddish-brown hair chirped enthusiastically as she had a sly smile on her face.

You sat down beside her and let out a sigh before uttering his name, "Bokuto, I guess..."

"Hmm... really?" She murmured intrigued and gave a look to the other manager sitting beside her. 

They only exchanged glances, so you had no idea what they were trying to tell each other, but you knew by their sudden wide smiles that it was probably something about you. You didn't mind too much attention to them though, as you were used to people whispering about you from years of experience.

"Is something the matter, (y/n)-san?" You blinked from your thoughts and looked up at the other cream haired manager.

"Well...” You started hesitantly. Wondering if you should tell them what was bothering you. “I-I don't really understand how... how everyone in the volleyball club knows my name." You mumbled nervously.

"Oya? Has no one told you?" The red-hair asked slightly surprised.

You shook your head.

She chuckled and bumped into you on purpose, being suddenly a little too close for comfort.

"Well, actually ~," She was rubbing against your arm, having a mixed expression of innocence and excitement radiating from within her.

"Bokuto he-"

"Hey, hey, hey!" A distinct voice boomed through the gymnasium, turning everyone's attention to it.

"You're late, Bokuto-san." Akaashi scolded the hyperactive owl who seemed ready to play.

Bokuto ignored his friend's comment and looked around confused. "Huh? Where is the coach and sensei?" He asked.

"Meeting."

"I see... So practice is going to be even shorter today."

"I suppose so, but it would be best for us to practice to the intended time since spring tour-"

"AH!" Bokuto exclaimed as he pointed in the direction of you and the managers with a shocked look on his face. 

Akaashi let out a dissatisfied grunt and had a very annoyed look on his face, because Bokuto chose to get distracted and not listen to what the vice-captain had to say to him.

"Yukie!" Bokuto shouted and stomped his way towards you and the manager, bearing a sour expression on his face.

The girl flinched by the threatening voice which was directed towards her. 

"A-Ah, Kou'-kun ~" She sang his name playfully and tried her best to smile and ignore his oncoming _'stubbornness'_.

"You better not be telling her any weird things." Bokuto warned as he pointed a finger up to her face.

"Don't worr-"

"She was about to." The other manager butted into their conversation bluntly.

"Suzu-chan!" The red-hair whined because her trusted kouhai just snitched her out.

"I knew it!" Bokuto sighed annoyed. "Don't listen to what the managers have to say about me, alright, (y/n)?" Bokuto turned to look at you and pointed at the two slightly offended girls.

"Okay." You mumbled. There wasn't much else you could say whenever Bokuto got riled up about something.

"But you know… it's pretty rude not to tell her why everyone in here knows who she is."

Bokuto stiffened. 

"What a ruuude owl ~." Yukie added.

"I'll tell her later!" Bokuto retorted while being flustered.

"You will?" Yukie inquired.

"When?" You joined.

Bokuto looked dumbfounded at you as he couldn't believe that you had joined the managers cruel way of teasing him, albeit having no idea that you were actually teasing him.

"Later, later!" He grumbled loudly and stomped quickly to his teammates, only to be met by a smack at the back of his head by Akaashi.

  
**\------**

  
It didn't take long for Bokuto to get into the zone.

Playing volleyball was one of his best parts of the day and there was no wonder why. The way he leads his team and brings up morale, the way he engages in different strategies and attacks, the way he shouts and yells whenever he or someone else does something amazing, the way his face fills with incredible joy whenever he spikes the ball over the net – shows that he's extremely passionate about the sport.

You smiled as you had your elbow supported down on your knee, supporting the weight of your head in the palm of your hand and covered your mouth with your fingers. It was satisfying to see what drove Bokuto into being who he was, because volleyball seemed to be an obvious factor. It shaped him into being the loud, excited, energetic and kind dork that he was.

"Bokuto-san!" You heard Akaashi yell out as he tossed the ball up to the left, slightly in front of the net. 

Bokuto, with incredibly speed, almost jumping at the same time Akaashi tossed the ball, lined up the shot in his vision, tightened his muscles so they would give out their maximum power, and spiked the ball straight along the side lines. The smash of the ball roared throughout the gymnasium. You couldn't help but gape in awe at how good Bokuto was as a player. Although you had sometimes managed to sneak peek a few practice matches in the past, you had never seen how he played as a 3rd year.

"Wooo! Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto shouted excited and had a wide grin on his face.

"Man... Bokuto, you're such a beast sometimes... I swear..." One of his teammates complained and teased the third year.

"Then that means you should only try harder!" Bokuto teased, then laughed when the guy shook his head in defeat and kept saying "no way, no way".

"Oi, (y/n)!"

Your attention perked up by the sound of Bokuto's voice.

"Did you see my spike just now? Hey, that was pretty amazing, wasn't it!? It was, huh!?"

Bokuto struggled to contain his excitement, but he managed to at least utter the necessary words to ask your opinion about his _'amazing'_ spike that he was so proud to show off.

You laughed at his childish behavior, which you knew he had all along, but you never expected to see it at this kind of level before. A small blush tinted his cheeks as his smile never wavered while he patiently waited for your praise, much like a puppy would do.

"I saw it. Yo-You've i-improved a lot, Bokuto." You said with a few stutters along the way, but at least you managed to say it loud enough so he could hear it.

"I know right!?" He replied happily as his grin widened by your words. 

At this point you couldn't understand how your subconsciousness could live with itself. Even though Bokuto’s reaction was innocent and completely normal, your body disagreed. You could feel your heartbeat quicken and your cheeks get red as he took your shy compliment to heart. You cursed silently inside of yourself as you felt guilty for tormenting your own poor heart over something as silly as this.

"One more, one more!" Bokuto’s teammates chanted. 

As easily as that, Bokuto's mind was back in the game. One last time before he could properly feel satisfied with today's practice.

  
**\------**

  
A good practice period and a well-deserved shower later, Bokuto felt happy and relaxed when he knew he could spend Friday afternoon together with you. It was a reward he proudly cherished. You could notice it by the way he asked if you were feeling okay, if you wanted to do something, or by the way he insisted countless of times that he would follow you wherever you wanted to go.

Bokuto let out a loud yawn and stretched his arms over his head, feeling like he didn't do enough of them after practice since he had been too eager to be the first one in the showers and rush to accompany you.

"Take me wherever you want. I don't mind!" He said, following you.

You looked up at Bokuto who meet you with one of his signature smirks and his golden eyes being striking as always, but you couldn't bear to look up at him for more than a second.

"Hm…? Something wrong?" He asked while tilting his head ever so slightly and dropped both of his arms to his side.

You didn't answer. 

It was too embarrassing to admit or even tell him. This was the first time you had ever walked home with Bokuto after one of his long practices. Normally he would be looking like his usual self: Cool and wild from the top of his hair and down to his feet, nothing out of the ordinary.

But today had a small twist.

Since Bokuto was hurrying to accompany you, his hair wasn't as wild as it normally looked like. It was the complete opposite. It was fluffy, messy and strains of his hair almost covered his eyes. Although he was wearing a hoodie to keep most of it hidden and dry so he wouldn't catch a cold, it was unfair how unbelievably much it affected your subconsciousness. 

'Just when you didn't expect your crush to become even more attractive.' You thought and sighed silently to yourself.

"I-It's nothing." You mumbled and turned your gaze forward.

Bokuto looked at you skeptically, but dropped it. Instead he kept his mouth shut and obediently walked beside you on the street as the two of you were getting farther away from school. Soon you both entered a familiar park you always went to in the evening. You smiled underneath your scarf and let out a relived sigh. It felt so peaceful being here.

"So this is the park you keep going to, huh?" Bokuto asked as he looked around the place, finding it probably confusing as to how this single park could make you motivated enough to visit it every day after school.

"Yeah." You simply answered.

"Since I'm the one unfamiliar here, why don't you show me around?"

"Well... There's isn't really… you know, much to show…" You mumbled and looked around for any specific things you thought could be interesting for the captain. "It's more like I just notice small, insignificant things that makes my mind drift into different thoughts…"

"Hmh… kinda sounds like something you'd enjoy doing." He said thoughtfully. Thinking back on the moments where you would often just observe and not say anything.

"I guess… you're right…" You murmured a little ashamed and looked down at the faint layer of snow in front of you. Even if most of the thinking you were doing in class were negative and boring, it seemed like Bokuto had noticed you brooding here and there on accident.

"Hey," You looked up at his suddenly sharp tone and tilted your head when you saw the light pout on his face. 

"It doesn't mean it's a bad thing you know!” He scolded you lightly. “If thinking over things calms you down, then keep on doing it. It’s not like anyone is going to come and judge your thoughts, right? You’re free to think whatever you want." He added with a kind expression on his face and bumped into you lightly so he could shake some of those negative nerves out of your body.

“Right…” You considered his words. Wondering if that was really true. "I… I suppose you're right." You smiled.

"Aren't I always?" He grinned.

  
**\------**

  
"You know what's really annoying, (y/n)?"

You shook your head.

"Well, it's that-~~"

It had only been 10 minutes or so since the two of you arrived at the park. You had managed to at least reach the halfway point around the huge pond which was at the center of the park. You could have probably gone a full circle already, but by the slow pace the two of you were casually walking around, it just wasn't worth the effort. You weren't in a hurry anyway.

Even though the two of you had decided to stop a small space away from the lake, now staying underneath some leafless tress covered in snow, Bokuto had never stopped talking. He had a lot on his mind and much to say, but it was mostly just daily life complaints or ramblings about silly things.

You were actually relived that he was someone who could talk continuously in comparison to you who would quickly run out of topics to talk about in a second. It was refreshing, and you knew there would never be any awkward silences whenever you were with him. Although you liked listening to his voice, there was still something you had to tell him. Something that had bothered you for a long, long time. Something you dreaded to say, but also wished to say. You didn’t feel like you had enough courage to tell him. It almost felt like you didn’t have the right to tell him…

You stared up at him. Wondering if you could do it now. If now was a good time.

"Bokuto." You uttered his name hesitantly.

Bokuto shut his mouth and snapped his attention from the view in the distance to your attention-seeking eyes. "Yeah?"

"I… I want to tell you something… if I can…" You mumbled. 

You didn't feel confident at all. It was making you nervous and giddy at the same time, but you knew that you had to tell him. You felt like this would be your only chance since you had no idea when you'd be able to be alone with Bokuto again considering that the annual volleyball spring tournament was getting closer by the day.

"Oh, sure! Sure. Of course you can!" He laughed. "Sorry, I just have a lot to say. I can't help it sometimes." He added sheepishly.

"It's ok." You reassured him and smiled when you saw the way he eased up.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Bokuto looked at you curiously. Completely unaware of the fact that a heap of nervousness was swirling uncontrollably around in the depths of your stomach.

"Bokuto… Although we have been friends for a few years... I-I feel like I have never ever properly said thank you." You said.

"Hm?" He blinked confused. "Thank you for what? Are you leaving already, was it something I did just now, was it—"

"Shh." You hushed and carefully stopped him with your finger right in front of his face, inches away from his lips which were frozen in motion.

"Thank you for being here and all…" You started, looking hesitantly away from his gaze.

"I… I've really… um…” You felt your cheeks starting to turn warm as your heart began to drum loudly in your ears. “…enjoyed a-and liked... you know... our time together…" You confessed quietly out loud to the boy you liked. 

Although it wasn't the true word you wanted to say… it was good enough. From the sheepish way you mumbled and acted – hesitating to utter the words as you looked away - Bokuto must probably know what you were trying to confess to him.

"Really?" Bokuto asked and tilted his head with one of his warm smiles directed towards you.

"You know what…?" Suddenly Bokuto grabbed a hold of your hand, the hand that was in front of his lips, and grabbed it gently with both of his hands, making you flinch in response.

"I actually want to say something similar to you." He murmured as he looked deeply into your eyes, fixating in on you in a very protective way.

"I've been thinking over it for some time… and, well…" He began softly as you listened quietly, trying to figure out what he was trying to tell you in such a uncharacteristically gentle tone. 

"I've just never managed to find the perfect timing for it and all… and well…" He scratched the back of his head sheepishly and turned his gaze away with a hint of a blush caressing his cheeks.

"(Y/n)… I lo— Umpf!!"

Your face flushed completely over. 

Your ears were completely blocked out as your body moved on its own. You instantly moved both of your hands up to his face and covered his mouth. Bokuto was surprised by your actions and stumbled back a bit by your sudden force against him.

You couldn't believe it.

"A-are y-you crazy! D-don't say it!" You uttered out, still in a daze and feeling slightly light-headed.

Bokuto was silent for a moment before he took a hold of your hands and pushed them gently away from his mouth.

"But I want to say it..." He mumbled with a pout and puppy-filled eyes, slowly inching closer to you.

"Wha--!" You quickly pulled your hands away from him, but he predicted your actions and held them firmly in his grip, still inching closer.

It seemed like you had no choice in this situation. 

You slowly walked backwards, while he slowly walked towards you. The situation seemed calm from someone else's perspective, but from yours it was a completely different story. You could feel the way your heart began to beat faster and faster by his approaching pace and the way his lustful gaze locked with your eyes. The blush covering your face felt extremely hot on your skin. 

You wanted to hide, cower, run away. Because he was so close. So incredibly close.

"S-Stop." You breathed quietly while nervously having your eyes closed, Expecting – no – preparing yourself to be kissed. 

But there was nothing.

Slowly you lifted your eyelids hesitantly up and saw an unfamiliar look on Bokuto's face. 

His expression was mixed with pain and disappointment. You didn't understand why he looked like that. Instead of closing in, he had backed away, keeping a distance from your face. His grip around your hands were still strong. However his face was turned away from yours.

"Are you scared of me, (y/n)?" Bokuto finally asked with a low voice. 

The thick silence that followed felt suffocating.

"Huh?" You blinked at him a little shocked. 

You couldn't believe what he was asking you. Scared? Were you? You have never been scared of Bokuto. Not once after all this time you had known him. But you definitely got surprised and scared by his sudden change of personality.

"Why won't you let me say it, huh?” Bokuto narrowed his eyes in pain. “Is... is there someone else?" His words sounded like poison in his mouth as he cringed by the feeling of asking you that question.

"I thought you told me that you wanted to listen to me. That you liked hearing what I had to say... so why..." He knew he was starting to drift off, so he stopped himself. "Why..." His voice was struggling, and soon was your heart as well when you saw the way he turned his head to look at you dead in the eyes with tears threatening to escape his fragile golden eyes.

What…? Why is he crying? How could someone as wild, energetic and bright as Bokuto get so emotionally unstable in front of you? 

You were struggling to find the right words and gestures to soothe Bokuto. He had completely misunderstood your true intentions. You never expected that your hesitation would make him this angry and sad, but your poor personality always seemed to backfire on you when you least wanted it to. The fact that Bokuto was busy sniffling and trying to force himself not to move and keep his sudden emotions at bay, made your heart drop.

You took a deep breath and shyly stepped forward, closing the distance between the two of you. Your heart raced as you slowly lifted both of your hands up to his face. Just as they got in his field of vision, you noticed him flinch, but he didn't move. He only stared at your hands for a second before looking down at your passionate eyes. 

Bokuto opened his mouth and wanted to speak up, but just as he was about to, your voice was dominant and caring in your speech. 

"Please don't cry." You told him with a loving smile and carefully brought both of your thumbs up to each of his lower eyelids and wiped away the unwelcome tears which had yet been allowed to fall.

"There isn't someone else, Bokuto." You paused and studied his sad features. This was a Bokuto you had never once dealt with before, so you had to make sure you were careful with your words.

"But... I… I don't… deserve to hear those words from you." You told him the painful truth with your gaze shifted downwards. Your words were more-so directed towards yourself than at him, to be honest.

You really liked him, but you doubted that you could make him happy. That thought had never crossed your mind. You were just glad that your crush was kind, caring, energetic, respectful, a silly dork every now and again, and at the very least - talked to you almost every day. 

You were happy with it being one-sided.

Bokuto scoffed and suddenly grabbed both of your wrists, roughly jerking them down so he could force you to get even closer to him. 

"Why not!?" He shouted with anger as he looked at you intensely. Your wrists were starting to hurt by how strong his grip was around them.

"How...! How can you say something stupid like that!?"

You blinked, not fully understanding why he seemed so angry. "But… I-I thought it was obvious that I… l-liked you... I thought you already knew and weren't interested so… you kept keeping me around as a friend…" You explained in a mumbled way.

Bokuto shook his head and started laughing as he threw his head back, letting out an exasperated sigh the moment his laughter died out. "You're so ridiculous, I swear."

He looked back down at you, probably expecting a sorry of some kind, but you were unable to say a word.

"I had no idea for such a long time, and it was not obvious for me at all! You were so good at hiding it too since you barely said or did anything to me." He mumbled trying to remember back at the times the two of you had interacted playfully with each other, but none of it gave him any hints that you liked him.

Your eyes widened in shock. He didn't notice at all!?

You thought for sure that he would have notice it almost instantly, since that was how your past friends told you that you were. 'So obvious and easy to read', was what they would always tell you. You only thought Bokuto was being his blunt self, not realizing that you genuinely liked him or just respectfully brushed your sudden embarrassing moments away since he didn't like you.

"You didn't do anything, so I didn't do anything either...” He sighed. “But I'm not going to let these three years together be a waste!" He declared.

"Bokuto..." You whispered and could feel tears starting to well up in your eyes. 

How could you feel so sad and happy at the same time? This was Bokuto. A boy who you never thought could become even more lovable. He was filled with emotions and it was quickly overwhelming you. Even though he didn't say the exact words he intentionally wanted to say, the strong feeling in your stomach convinced you that his true feelings were reaching you.

You felt him tower over you quietly and knew that he was waiting patiently for you to take it all in. He smiled down when he saw how you were reacting to his declaration. You smiled shyly, feeling overjoyed and embarrassed at the same time.

You wanted to dig deeper into Bokuto’s chest for that lovestruck feeling of warmth and comfort from a significant other. The deep blush that covered your face which was barely visible in the dark told him enough, giving him a reason to go for it himself, and cradled you even tighter into him. 

He didn't want to let you go. Especially not by the way you were currently acting.

"I…" You pushed yourself slightly away from Bokuto, earning yourself a silent stare from him. "I'm sorry…"

"Sorry?" He didn't understand.

"I'm sorry for being such a burden." You couldn't look at him. You knew it would only anger him, bringing the two of you straight back to the beginning of this conversation.

"But you're not—"

"Let me explain before you start rambling." You murmured.

"A-Ah... sure. Go ahead." He said slowly with apologetic eyes, ashamed that he had interrupted you.

"I know that I'm embarrassing to be around since I'm socially awkward and anxious almost every day. I'm weak because of that, and I know that… It makes me feel jealous compared to someone like you who is so… easy-going and kind to everyone."

"Stop comparing yourself to me." He muttered under his breath. You ignored his complaint and continued.

"It made me happy knowing that someone as different as you actually wanted to be friends with someone like me… Even though countless of people disliked me and encouraged you to stop talking to me, I wondered why you didn't.” You smiled bitterly as you thought back to your first year of high school.

You stole a glance at Bokuto and noticed a frown on his face, showing you that he disliked what he was hearing. But it wasn't a look you were unfamiliar with. You knew he hated hearing bad things about you.

"Even though you knew my flaws, you still stuck around. I never expected you’d be here for… pretty much my entire high school life. It… it made me very happy and motivated to keep attending Fukurodani.” You glanced sheepishly up at Bokuto. “Thank you…” You whispered softly. “Thank you for dealing with me and accepting me for who I am."

Bokuto was at a loss for words. He shifted his eyes around, wondering what to say, even trying to lift his arm and open his mouth a couple of times, hoping that he had just found something decent to say, but there was nothing. You didn't blame him though. After he had a rare emotional breakdown about you, you didn't really mind if he had nothing to say now. It was ok. At least you knew he cared about what you had to say.

"Bokuto... I..." Bokuto's attention perked down at you by the sound of your voice. This was it. This felt like the right time to say it. After he told you everything and you told him everything, you knew everything had been cleared up about each other. 

"I..." 

He started to smile curiously.

"I-I... love you!" You exclaimed with a beet red face while staring straight at him. But your eyes quickly shifted down to your boots out of extreme embarrassment. Your heart drummed uncontrollably in your chest, echoing all the way up to your ears.

You didn't dare to look up at Bokuto. Silence surrounded the two of you. The only thing you could hear was the sound of your nerve-wrecking breath and the natural ambience of water moving in the distance along with an occasional gust of wind.

Your face burned with shame as you officially declared that what you had just done was a terrible idea. You knew there was no easy way to confess to your crush, but the amount of time Bokuto decided to be quiet and not say anything should be illegal!

"Huh?" Bokuto peeped up. You slowly looked up at him and realized just how dumbstruck he looked down at you.

"Bo--"

"Huh? HUUUH!?" Bokuto exclaimed loudly in realization and leaped over to grab both of your arms to hold you in place while staring down at you in surprise. Both of your faces were inches apart. You froze in place.

"Why did you steal my words, (y/n)!" He shouted, clearly offended, but it wasn't like he was mad at you. In fact, it looked like he was blushing just as much as you did. A smile was slowly crawling onto his lips.

"U-u-uhm…!" You struggled to respond.

"I was supposed to say that from the beginning, but you kept interrupting me." He sighed.

"B-But... I've sort of… felt this way f-for a long time." You stuttered shyly. You just couldn’t get over the fact that Bokuto would blush as hard as you would.

"R-Really!?" He looked at you shocked.

"Y-Yeah." You gulped. "Since first year... when I kind of... sort of... met you... and you talked... right after that..." Your words were a mess.

"Fine, take it." You looked at Bokuto confused when he turned his head away from yours. "I'll let you have that one." He pouted. "But..." he turned around to face you and got dangerously closer to you.

"Hm?"

"I'll be the first one to-" The glint in Bokuto’s eyes and the tone of his lustful voice made you alert as he slowly lowered his head down to your level.

"A-Ah, wait!" You quickly stopped Bokuto as you covered his mouth with both of your hands, struggling to push him away. He didn't budge until your eyes hinted for him to back away. His brows furrowed in response.

Bokuto inched away and grabbed both of your hands away. He let out a frustrated sigh. "You really like to tease me, don't you?" He complained shyly, a blush was apparent on his face. He probably hoped that he could be slick and get it over with quickly so you couldn't do anything about it, but your reflexes were sharp tonight.

"I... I don't mean to... it's just..." You looked away from him, feeling embarrassed.

"It's just...?" He urged you to continue.

"I..." You shifted your glance up to his eyes. "I've... never really k-kissed anyone before..." You mumbled shamefully. He would **definitely** tease you about it now.

"Oya, oya?" He hummed amused. 

See?

"Well, I've never kissed anyone either, so there's that!" Bokuto confessed almost a little too enthusiastically… 

He probably realized it as his expression dropped. "S-So, don't be afraid, ok!?" He quickly picked himself up and tried his best to make himself sound reassuring so that you wouldn't feel more nervous than you already were.

You wanted to laugh. Not because he hadn't kissed anyone before, but the way he tried to hide his childish behavior. You knew that he hated to admit embarrassing things, so it was very entertaining for you to witness it for the first time. Although it was hard, you still managed to restrain yourself.

"Okay." You let out a sigh and smiled. "But just... give me a moment to..."

He nodded in response, understanding what you meant.

Bokuto inhaled and exhaled deeply before staring into your eyes. He was surprisingly calmer than you thought he would be, but after a few seconds you could see him fidget impatiently closer to you. You couldn't help but chuckle at how silly he was being. He smiled, but quickly went into being serious again. It was really interesting to watch Bokuto suddenly being so obedient around you. Especially with a mood and setting such as this. It probably wasn't the most ideal location to be in, but it didn't matter when Bokuto was pressed up against you, providing you with enough heat and comfort to make the wintery world seem distant and hazy.

Finally you gave him a small nod. 

He blinked reassuringly and smiled eagerly as he brought both of his hands up to your cheeks. He slowly closed the distance and started to kiss you passionately with both of your eyes closed. The kiss was sloppy and rough, but you didn't mind. It didn't bother you at all. The only thing which was on your mind was how incredibly happy you were for your crush to kiss you, hell, have the honor to be your first kiss as well. 

Bokuto didn't hold back though as you could feel him deepening the kiss to keep it going for as long as possible. The sudden rise of temperature, along with a painfully fuzzy feeling, coursed through your stomach as your entire body wanted to melt against the person holding you close. It was exciting and new, and you never wanted it to end.

You responded to the feelings inside of you and grabbed a tighter hold of Bokuto's jacket and pulled him even closer to you, almost tripping him in the process. His breath hitched in-between the kiss and opened his eyes ever so slightly to look down at your flustered face which was really hard for him to resist. He closed his eyes again and continued, slowly lowering his hands down around your back. As he was doing it though, he felt himself managing to pin you up to the tree. He didn't realize it at first, but when he felt your head go back ever so slightly, he knew that he was most likely overstepping boundaries.

Bokuto, who was clearly in control, broke the kiss and rested his forehead up against yours as you both panted for air. 

"So... you can feel it too, right?" Bokuto asked in-between breaths. He wanted to make sure that you weren't feeling uncomfortable, especially by the way you riled him up.

"Yeah." You breathed. 

Assuming that he was talking about the intense feeling in your stomach. It was scary how much it hurt, but the pain was slowly turning into pleasure instead. You couldn't fully admit that you felt comfortable with having this new, strange feeling around, but if this was the extra condition you had to bear with to be with Bokuto, then it was something you could definitely get used to.

"C-Can I?" Bokuto asked impatiently and motioned with his head that he wanted to do more as his eyes watched yours intensely. He was apparently in a very good mood for being so eager into making this new emotion inside of you last for as long as possible.

You smiled and gave him a small nod. Before kissing you though, he placed both of your hands at the back of his neck and wrapped his strong arms around your waist, having one behind your back and one behind your neck. 

"Stay." He ordered shyly and brought himself closer to close the gap between the two of you once again.

Bokuto started giving you small slow kisses, one after another. It was something about them which felt addictive. It captivated him to keep going. Being locked in place, to then get a small pause to breathe and be at it again. It felt good and alluring, as if he was trying to tease and confuse the strong feeling inside of you since it kept dying down the moment he moved away. It didn't take long for him to escalate it even further though, as he gave you one last kiss on the lips, to then move to the side of your cheek and slowly down your neck.

"Bokuto…" You whispered as a silent moan escaped your lips. 

He looked up, but kept going without saying anything. He didn't want to ruin the moment, so he only tightened his grip around you harder.

The sensation inside your body was overwhelming. It was almost suffocating, considering how fast your heartbeat was. You didn't understand how a series of kisses managed to rile you up so much, but then again, you could hardly believe that it was Bokuto doing this to you in the first place. You never expected him to act like this. You had underestimated him. Even though he acted like a child most of the time, he was still an eighteen-year-old boy.

"B-Bokuto-" But his constant kisses were making it difficult to concentrate.

"Hmm?" he mumbled as his lips were on your skin.

"Y-you're a being a little too..." You mumbled flustered as you couldn't finish your sentence, then gave him an apologetic look when you saw a sad expression form on his face.

"O-Oh." He backed away from you to give you space, though not too much since he couldn't stop staring into his favorite pair of (e/c) eyes.

"Sorry," He smiled and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I can't help it when I love you."

He had said it. 

Those three words you had longed forever to tell him, yet it felt completely different and surreal when he said it to you. Were you hearing it for real or were you so caught up in the moment that you assumed that he just said it? Whatever it was, you really wanted to hear him say it again.

"What did you say?" You asked nervously.

"Sorry?"

"No, after that."

"I can't help it?"

"After that."

Bokuto grumbled, not understanding what you were trying to pry out of him. "I love you?"

"Yeah, that." You paused and watched his expression soften. "I love you." You repeated his words.

"I love you too." Bokuto repeated after you and smirked when he saw the way you started to blush, but you were acting stubborn and didn't give him a smile back yet.

"I love you." He said it again. "I love you." He said it once more, determined to crack you as he slowly leaned over.

"I really do…" He whispered mischievously in your ear. 

Before you could anticipate what he was doing next, Bokuto suddenly pulled you away from the tree and embraced you tightly in his strong arms. He then decided it would be best to escalate it, so he started to nuzzle your neck until he could hear faint giggles emitting from you, giving him enough time to see a smile from you.

Bokuto smiled back, but was silent and refused to let you go. You sighed from embarrassment. You looked down at his chest and muttered, "I get it..."

"Hmm? What did you say?" He teased.

You refused to utter another word.

He laughed by the lack of your response. You really liked Bokuto’s gruff voice, especially his laughs. They always made you smile. 

In the end, Bokuto got what he wanted, thus declared himself the winner. But at the same time, you could say that you got what you wanted too. Just… not expecting him to turn it against you.

Still being an emotional wonder, Bokuto never managed to calm down for the rest of the night. All he could do was cuddle close to you and playfully tease you with ‘I love you’s till you got overwhelmed and he got utterly exhausted. Eventually you let drowsiness get the best of you, as you fell soundly asleep together with Bokuto in your bed with his arms wrapped around you, protecting his most important source of happiness. 

You.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and posted on FFn: 2016.03.25 (13,376 words)  
> Rewritten, edited and posted on Ao3: 2021.02.14 – 2021.02.19 (writing period)


End file.
